Tag Archives: patience

Day 14 – Moving Into Mina

“Patience training wheels…just remember to keep pedaling, junior”

11/4/11Hajj, Day 1

Today is the day. It’s the 8th of Dhul Hijjah, the first day of Hajj. It’s also a Friday – which apparently makes this is “Hajj Akbar” (“Greater Hajj”), supposedly worth 70 times more than a regular Hajj, inshaAllah. [After doing some research, I found that there actually is no such thing].

It’s 5:40am, just prayed Fajr in our room. We’ll be heading out on the buses soon to go to Mina & will have to get into our ihrams again, with the intention of Hajj. This is the moment we’ve been preparing for, for the past 8 months, and waiting for our entire lives. Once it starts, we’ll be in Mina, more or less, for the next 5 days, living out of tents. We’ll be spending one night in Muzdalifah, sleeping in the open, following the Day of Arafah. The rest of our time will be in Mina.

I’m very much looking forward to the Day of Arafah. I have a ton of du’as I’m hoping to make and to have heard iA. Someone I know told me all the du’as they made there were answered, subhanAllah. I intend to beseech the same Merciful & Generous Lord. Also, totally want to shave my head. This long hair is kind of driving me crazy. Well, not crazy, it’s just too much to worry about right now.

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It’s 9:50am, the bus is finally here to take us to Mina. Not much goin on today, just sittin around, waiting. Lots of talbiyah, a little napping, trying to rest. I started feeling sick again this morning, like something was up with my stomach too. I definitely have a cough now also. None of it is serious, you just get accustomed to not being 100%.

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We’re in Mina. It’s 12:15pm, we’ve been sitting here for almost an hour, in the bus. The group chemistry has gotten alot better. There’s always nice, entertaining interactions between the Somali sub-group and the Punjabi sub-group. There’s actually a brother named Ahmed, Somali dude, who lives in Hyderabad, India – so he speaks Urdu. Makes for some great humor with the Desi uncles. Especially, when he gets into explaining the Indian bobble-head syndrome. He does a killer impression too, it’s dead on :). There’s another brother, Fiyyaz, who’s actually from Hyderabad. Watching them go back and forth is a riot, such good hearts mA. They make the whole environment much easier for everyone.

Sometimes, I envision my journal as a screenplay for a film. Cool idea – since there’s so many languages being spoken around me, it’d be interesting, visually, to only show subtitles for specific words that are understood, leaving the rest untranslated. This might illustrate how bewildering everything can be sometimes.

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We got into tents at around 2pm. There was a huge discrepancy with the lady…

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Sorry, got caught up. Things got heated in the tent and I got distracted. Basically, we showed up to Mina & had no tents, so we waited on our bus for 2 hours, where there was A/C. Then, the bus driver was complaining because he’d been up since 3am and had to leave, so we finally got off the bus to let the poor guy go. They still had no space for our whole group. The entire group had paid an extra $245 each, for a private, air-conditioned tent, with foam mattresses and 3 daily meals, for the entire duration of the stay in Mina, with the entire group being together. We showed up and they split up our group. The ladies got put in a room with women from another group. 5 of the men were split up and given spots in a few different tents, with other groups. The rest of us, 17 guys, were led to a small tent and told to stay there. The tent was tiny, smaller than a college dorm room, with 4 fold-up cushion beds, but no meals. We were like…um…ok…kept our heads down, and started to settle in.

We had all barely sat down when an unknown woman came into our tent, yelling and complaining in Arabic about our group leader, Muhammad Hirsy, saying he was ordering her around and being rude. We later found out she was the organizer from our Hajj group, through whom all of the local arrangements were made by the group leaders. She was complaining that he had not paid her any money for the upgraded tents and that she offered to extend some help to him out of her own generosity and kindness, but he was making too many demands and being overbearing, taking advantage of her hospitality. We were like, ok…chill…work it out, cuz WE definitely paid him. It all turned into a really big issue. All of the men in our group got together in our tent and had many meetings to try and figure out what to do. So, now there’s like 22 guys, all chillin in this tiny space – tired, hungry, frustrated, starting to lose their tempers. The lady came by again and dropped off 9 meals, as “gifts” to our group.

Most of the men were pissed at this point. They tried to take a stand to make a statement about how they were going to get what was owed to them, in full. No one had eaten all morning though…and those meals were just stacked high…in the middle of the tent. The men were so fired up about going to the Ministry of Hajj and complaining about not getting what they paid for, and getting ripped off…as they continued eyeing the hot food, untouched and unclaimed. Those boxes of biryani were calling out to us as we huddled around in a disjointed circle, meeting to strategize how best to make our stand. We couldn’t fight it any longer, the meals got passed around and split up – 2-3 people per box. Once we started eating, everyone calmed down and completely lost steam haha. Some guys went and talked to the lady again, to try reasoning with her. She said she would work things out for us, though it may take time. So, we’re all just hanging out in the tent, indefinitely.

Man Meeting, The Biryani Beckons

It’s funny though, everyone gets so fired up about the simplest things. Every registered Hajji is guaranteed a tent with carpet and water, that’s the basic provision. Even with just that, we woulda been chillin, no biggie. People already paid though, so I guess they have reason to be upset. My pops paid the upgrade for my whole family, so it’s not like I’m really feelin the pressure. He was up and at it though.

I think it’s also an American thing. We have so much less patience, it’s actually alarming. I was just making wudhu and there was a guy doing his wudhu outside of the drainage area, so he wouldn’t have to wait in line to use the faucet. There was another man there, stopping people from doing that exact thing because all of that water would run down into his tent. He told the man to stop and not make wudhu there, said it twice. The other man got so pissed, like “ok! I understood you the first time!!”. I’m like, dang…he just gave a simple admonishment. Peeps need more patience. That’s the biggest thing I’ve gotten out of this so far. Life, as well, is about being patient with your tests. It’s like enduring smaller tests here, in a controlled environment, to help you get practice at developing patience. Every hardship is resolved practically the same day, though it feels like forever til you get there. Patience training wheels :) Just remember to keep pedaling, junior :P

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Day 13 – Tests in Question

“The ultimate goal is not to “pass” the test – often there is no real way to pass or fail – the goal is simply to return to Allah. 

11/3/11

I was taking a shower, at around 1:30pm, and in the middle of it, all the water in the bathroom runs out. I’m standing there, covered in soap, well I rinsed off some of the left half of my body when it ran out. These little tests crack me up sometimes, cuz they always catch you off-guard, but they’re real and you actually have to deal with them.

So, I stood there like, wth??And I hand-squeegee’d as much soap off my curves as I could…please, ladies, this is a Hajj journal. SMH. Then, I was like ok…maybe I’ll just use the water from the bidet or the hand shower, or the sink, shoot I’ll use whatever, short of toilet water of course. All water sources had run dry – no water in the entire bathroom. Totally forgot I was in a 3rd world country. The water reservoir had probably run out, especially from people doing their laundry across the hall. So, I just kinda stood around…hung out for about 10 minutes, laughed at myself in the mirror. Suddenly, some water came back & I rushed to clean off. Got through it, Alhamdulillah.

That still raises the question: how am I best meant to interact with these tests? Just show patience and wait for them to blow over? Show diligence in the future to plan more efficiently and prevent falling into the same situations? Take advantage of the opportunity and work to fix the situation? Maybe a combination or selection of the options, based on the situation? That’s probably what it is. I have realized though, it becomes much, much easier to deal with the tests once you recognize you’re being tested. It sort of allows you to step outside of the situation and regain your personal identity. You are not your test. The test merely helps you to know better who you really are. All tests are from Allah. Stepping away from the situation, mentally, allows you to connect better with Him as well. He gives you the test, and will give you the answers if you ask Him. I always loved teachers like that :)

Why would He just help you if you ask? Because the ultimate goal is not to “pass” the test – often there is no real way to pass or fail – the goal is simply to return to Allah. To recognize & assert His role in your life. Communicating with Him in the midst of a test or hardship is the way to succeed. With that step, you more forward & prepare yourself for His Divine Support.

When I ran out of water in the shower, I go, “Yo, God – you testin me again, right? That’s funny LOL.” I don’t say, “Oh no! This always happens to me. FML. I have the worst luck, maybe God just hates me.” Tests are not necessarily earned, though they are tailored to you specifically, according to what you’re capable of handling. You don’t necessarily get a particular test because you deserve if, so it’s not personal in that sense. However, The Educator knows His Creation & what pushes your buttons, so tests are handed out accordingly. Similarly, He knows how far He can push you, and stays within the limits when He tests you. This is something that should provide relief. If you face some challenging situation, know that your Creator believes in you, and He has equipped you with the capacity to overcome your difficulties.

Also, if you see others in the midst of a test, be gentle with them. They are facing their own tests, which are according to their own capacities. Plato said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” So much wisdom in those words. Others can not face what you are tested with, nor can you face what they are tested with, subhanAllah.

The Prophets faced the most severe tests, but also turned to Allah & He supported them through their hardships. These tests made them the closest to Allah. So, our tests, though they are smaller and less intense, have the same aim – to garner the support of our Educator & to draw us closer to Him. The constant remembrance of this situation relates to our level of faith. Perhaps, that is the greatest remembrance, to remember our constant connection to Him, to see it in every step. Not just repeating chanted incantations, but seeing their applicability within our own hearts, in the lives we live. May Allah guide my heart & make me of those that remember Him, receive His support and “pass” His tests. Same for you :)

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Day 11 – Familiar Faces

The worst thing about the trip was the frustration of being trapped, not being able to go anywhere, do anything…These are events which try your patience.”

11/1/11

The desert calm that clings to the soul. Forcefully grabs hold and enshrouds the heart. There can be no escape, only surrender. It is to this tranquility we retreat. There is no salvation from it, until the desert is left behind – mountains at your back, city streets under your feet. Only then, may you find peace from the Peace. A peace, by which, there is no solace, only yearning – for the perfectly blended skies and warm radiant rays of the brother you left behind.

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2 things: SubhanAllah, nothing compares to the beauty of a desert sunset. I was in total awe, I could have stared forever.

Second, 6:30pm, SubhanAllah, we stopped at a random rest stop on the way to Mecca to pray Maghrib & I saw Ali Hanif! SubhanAllah, that was incredible. Hanif is a good friend of mine from college, I met him and his wife, Nasrin & took pictures together. Allah is the Best of Planners. We may not get to meet again, but I’m grateful to have found a familiar face & extend a warm embrace with my beloved brother. He’s staying at the Al-Massa hotel, I remember seeing the sign, it’s somewhere around the city center. I’ll try to run into him again iA. I made du’a a few days ago to run into people I know, because I was ready to share these moments with my friends & I was finally granted the chance, Alhamdulillah. I was in the prayer area and I saw him standing there. I just rushed up to him and gave him a big, crushing bear hug :) Squeeze first, ask questions later.

I saw Mona Haydar yesterday. Though we don’t talk, I knew she was coming to Hajj from her CNN video, so it was cool to see her. She was in Medina, in the courtyard outside of the masjid, carrying a bunch of shopping bags :) May Allah accept all of our efforts & make our Hajj Mabrur iA.

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That was the perfect ease to accompany this hardship, my heart feels at complete peace. That was, until the slow-boy crew grabbed the mic and started the dyslexic talbiyah, short bus status. The speaker system in the bus needs to get regulated by someone with some courtesy. Can we not have the mic circulate between 4 people with equally horrendous voices that sound like their throats are closing up from peanut allergies? Seriously, man? That’s too much self-confidence, put the mic down, walk away. Take some Benadryl.

Cool thing about the drive from Mecca to Medina is that there are signs posted with different adhkar (reminders of God), periodically along the sides of the road. Reminders to remember The Most Near, Allahu Akbar!

7:20pm, dark, on the bus, not enough light…

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8pm, about an hour left iA. I’m remembering our drive to Medina & how awesome it was. Our driver was something special, subhanAllah, what a character :). That Pathan restaurant was so amazing!! My dad said it was the best food he’d had in years. Not to be taken lightly. I want to remember that whole adventure well iA.
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We got to Mecca at 11pm. It was 11:30 by the time we got out of the Pilgrims Processing Center. The bus ride got much worse before it got better. We hit insane traffic & were stuck for 3 hours. I was also getting talbiyah brainwashed, with it blaring repeatedly, directly over my fatigued head. At least I got to get out at the Pilgrims Center and use the bathroom and blow out some face phlegm (gross, I know – wait till you get here :P). I’m feeling a bit more refreshed, Alhamdulillah. That’s the awesome thing about this journey, I suppose – you get hit with stuff tailored to make you go insane..and want to punch old Persian men in the face…and other group members…sometimes even complete strangers…But, you learn your limitations, your weaknesses and your actual capabilities. Don’t worry, no one got punched. Not by me, at least.

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Allahu Akbar. We finally got to our rooms in Aziziah, just northwest of Mecca. It’s 3am. Our trip from Medina to Mecca really did just take 12 hours. That’s as long as my flight from DC to Jeddah. Normally, it’s only a 4 hour drive between Mecca & Medina. I’m so tired and hungry, but so relieved. The worst thing about the trip was the frustration of being trapped, not being able to go anywhere, do anything. We were caged in on the bus and had to just wait for things to take their course, on their own sweet schedule. These are events which try your patience. The drive to Mecca has been difficult both times now, while the trip to Medina was actually alot of fun & was really memorable. It was so dysfunctional and ridiculous that you couldn’t help but laugh. There was nothing amusing about the hardship this time.

I think things are getting more and more difficult as the time for Hajj nears. I wonder if it’ll be easier once we’re done? I’m *hoping* things will ease up once we’ve completed our Hajj. We’ll see iA.

Things take so long for no reason other than to test your patience.

My dad went down the street and picked up some pizza. It’s actually really legit, I’m totally killing this at 4am. No hesitation. So good…

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Thus far, I’ve seen two things which are amongst the most beautiful I’ve ever seen in my life – the Ka’aba & the desert sunset.

The Ka’aba is a masterpiece. It carries such magnitude & grace that it’s just awe-inspiring. It is significant for so many reasons – it stands as a historical landmark, a spiritual symbol, and a social phenomena, amongst other things. It is the anchor for so many worlds. Gazing upon it will make the heart swell & put one into a trance-like state. The hypnotizing, ceaseless circumambulation of pilgrims penetrates the soul with its beauty. Everyone orbits the Ka’aba in fluid motion, while that structure stands as an absolute pillar, from which we all draw stability. Not only whilst making tawaf, in the Haram, but all around the globe, it is our direction of prayer. It is a metaphor for our Universe in so many ways. We orbit, as celestial bodies in space do, mimicking them in movement & in appearance – joining ourselves to the order of the galaxies. It is also reminiscent of the nature of our very own existence. We derive stability from the only Absolute in the Universe, while fluidly in motion, according to His Whim. This is the epitome of “going with the flow”. Being a part of that phenomena, participating in this analogy, is what makes this place even more fantastic. If only we could carry the lessons with us, throughout the other aspects of our lives.

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